What I just couldn’t understand was that even though I thought I was only a binge drinker and so didn’t drink every day, I was still an alcoholic.
I only understood when it was explained to me that for that period of time of maybe 3 or 4 weeks, I was driven by the overwhelming compulsion to carry on drinking, despite not always wanting to, certainly not always needing to, and that I had lost any control over it, that I realised I did have a problem. I thought you had to drink every day to be an alcoholic.
I could not see until it was spelled out to me in no uncertain terms by my family, that once I started, there was a complete inability to control it, and I was continuing to drink despite causing problems with the family such as all the broken promises to my children, the dinner parties I ruined by my behaviour and other negative consequences.
When I started on a binge, I became a different and not very nice person. I could never just have one drink despite the best intentions.